1 post tagged “changes”

It seems like all I ever blog about is school, but considering I'm a student, school is my life and there isn't room for much else at the moment. Heh.

The school year is coming to a close, and I thank God for bringing me through yet another hellish but rewarding academic year. I've done well, for the most part, and I can't afford to lose momentum in the next two weeks. If anything, I'll need to remain focused and become more disciplined, as I have end of semester projects and final exams to get through. I have five papers and a makeup exam I need to get done by Tuesday, and my week will only get crazier from there. Oy. At least it's all ending soon, right?

I've also been reconsidering how I view myself and the world. As cliche as it sounds, I've identified a few things I actually like (to my surprise), some that I absolutely hate, and others that are rather insignificant and pointless to pick at. I want to be a different person come next August, the start of my final year as an undergraduate. I refuse to be the same whiny, depressive, negative little girl that I am now...I want to finally grow up and be mature, considerate, intelligent, motivated, and self-assured...characteristics that I already possess but need to refine over the summer.

I'm actually changing quite a few things about myself over the summer, and they're not all internal. My intensive diet and workout regimen will resume next month...and with the way I've planned it, there will be no slacking off. If I slack off this time around, then there truly is no hope for me. I've already subconsciously changed my eating habits, and that in itself is quite a feat. I'm eating healthier without having to consciously think about it...so many people struggle with that. I know I did in my past attempts.

I've also decided to change my last name, something I've been mulling over since last summer but only recently decided to do. I've explained this impending change to a few people, some of whom are completely confused as to why I'm changing the name I was born with. The short story is that my parents, particularly my father, never took a sincere interest in me, and when I finally reached out to him to try and establish a relationship with him, he didn't show much interest. My father, in my opinion, is a piece of shit, and since my maternal grandfather and my uncle are the only two men who have ever truly and honestly loved me and provided a positive image of what men are supposed to be, I choose to disregard his horrible example. With that said, I'm changing my name to my grandfather's name. Yes, it is my mother's maiden name, but I want to honor my grandfather.

Lastly, I'm really looking forward to my senior year. I have a few unique opportunities and can't wait to take advantage of them. One of them is getting to establish a HUGE community service project with my school's student government next fall, and I'm already stoked about it. Details later.

And that, dear friends, about does it for me. I have papers to write and only a few hours to do them in. Peace.