3 posts tagged “reflection”
Final exams are over for me. I probably should have studied harder for a couple of them, but, it's whatever now. I'm pretty sure I failed my math final, and since it's worth so many points, I probably failed the class. Great. I'm planning to take this class again in June. While I'm not happy with my grades for this semester, I am glad the its come to a close. I can now focus on myself, rest, and redirect my focus on my education and the other areas of my life that I've neglected. I have one last paper to turn in, and then I'm off to make myself feel better with a mini-shopping spree (I got $120 for my books!) and a manicure. I need to change some things about myself.
Have you ever had a friend who was great at everything? Sports, academics, life in general? I've had the fortune misfortune of having two such people in my life. In high school, it was Shannon Brown. Shannon outshined me in just about every a spect of our adolescent lives: musically, spiritually, academically, socially, intellectually, etc., and although I hated it, I couldn't bring myself to resent her for her success. The only thing I actually beat Shannon at was sports, because I was an athelete at the time, and Shannon was, well, on the heavier side (not that it matters). Shannon more or less burned my mediocre ass at every turn, but I still loved her and loved being around her. After graduation, Shannon went to the University of Texas to study pre-med Biology, and I went to Texas Tech for Public Relations and Art History. We tried to keep in touch, but after an unfortunate event in which Shannon dissed one of our mutual friends, we stopped to talking to each other. We haven't spoken in two and a half years. I miss her.
Currently, the person I envy is my good friend Nikki. Nikki isn't your classic overachiever; the girl simply supercedes that stereotype like you wouldn't believe. She's a member of every collegiate honor society imaginable, as well as an officer or distinguished member in several campus organizations. Nikki is also graduating this year, on time, which I should be doing, but I'm not (two majors). I fucked around my first couple of years, and now it's biting me in the ass. Nikki is headed for Oxford University (completely bypassing Harvard) to study psychology as a graduate student, on top of being in charge of research for a distinguished faculty member, and writing her honors thesis on developing early-detection materials for children with autism. I don't qualify for the honors program here. See aforementioned slacking off.
I think what bugs me most about Nikki and Shannon's success is that I am well aware of the fact that I'm capable of their levels of achievement, but I'll never be able to attain them because of one bad year at Texas Tech. Never. Ever. That's a sad realization. I used to dream of pursuing a law degree at Cornell, Yale, UTexas, or Harvard, but my circumstances have forced me to give up on those dreams. I used to look down on people who aspired to mediocrity, and now look at me. I'll be lucky if regional grad/law schools admit me after I graduate next year (2008).
On the flip side, one could argue that I have a lot going for myself. I'm in college, with a not-so-great but so-not-terrible GPA, a job, good health, and (some) intelligence, possible internships, a shot at some decent grad schools, and a shot to improve the weak areas of my life, so I shouldn't dare complain about what I don't have or can't do.
Doesn't it suck to know that someone is smarter, faster, or just simply better at life than you are?
I usually take the passing of a celebrity in stride and put it in the back of my mind within a few hours of hearing about it, mainly because I didn't know them personally and I'm too detached to sincerely care. But Steve Irwin was different for me, apparently, because I've been sad and quite stunned since I heard about his death on Monday. I remember watching Animal Planet six years ago and seeing Steve for the first time, chasing some Komodo dragons down in Brunei, and was instantly hooked. Although, lately, I haven't watched The Crocodile Hunter (or any the other Animal Planet programs, for that matter) as avidly as I used to, I still consider myself a Steve fan and will always miss him.
R.I.P. Steve. Thank you for the memories.
And I am planning on making a donation in his honor to the Wildlife Warriors, whenever the site administrators get it back up and running again. I encourage all of you to do the same.
